The Things My Dad Said

Here is a little ditty I wrote for my “Go Ask Your Mother…a Father’s Story” show. Thought it would be appropriate to share this for Father’s Day. (Sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music.)

THE THINGS MY DAD SAID

“Were you born in a barn?” and “For crying out loud”
“Because I said so” and “Don’t make a sound”
“You’ve got a roof over your head”
These are few of the things my dad said

“I’ll give you something to cry about”
“Let mom kiss it better” “You’ll live, don’t you pout”
“There are no monsters under your bed”
These are some more of the things my dad said

“Oh for Pete’s sake”
“Clean up your plate”
“Don’t wear stripes with plaid”
I find I’m repeating the things my dad said
And sometimes I think that’s sad

“Don’t make me come in there” “I’ve had it, bend over”
“I won’t say it again, I’ll pull this car over”
“Stop picking your nose, your brains will fall out”
These are the things I am talking about

“They jump off a cliff, would you do it too?”
“Say please, excuse me and don’t forget thank you”
“Go comb your hair” “don’t make a fuss”
“Close the barn door and remember to flush”

“Ask your mother”
“Pull my finger”
“You’re gonna make me mad”
I find I’m repeating the things my dad said
But I ask you is that so bad?

The Backstory to “I Am Lucy”

Some have asked why I wrote this book…so here is a little backstory: 

Lucy is the first child in my life to be in the “special needs” category. Oh sure, I had met other kids with special needs, but until Lucy, never really spent time getting to know them. The more I learned about Lucy and Kabuki Syndrome the more it became clear to me that she would be a child that would “stand-out” for her differences. The idea that her future would include being teased and treated cruelly by other kids began to sink in and frightened me. 

One day my wife, Lorie, took Lucy to the park. While swinging on the swings another little girl, (at the park with her father) was staring intently at Lucy. Finally, she said to her father “that girl looks funny.”

Thankfully that father said, “Oh honey, I don’t think she looks funny, I think she looks beautiful.”

The little girl shrugged accepting that answer and went on with her playtime. 

While this father handled the situation wonderfully, the fact is that there would not always be someone nearby to intervene at those teachable moments. I knew that this was just a glimpse of what would be a reality in Lucy’s future. 

Then last year Mallory, Lucy’s mother, posted on social media: 

“I have a rare syndrome,

I have a feeding tube,

I have a heart defect,

I have special needs,

But who I am is Lucy.”

And that was the inspiration. 

As an actor, I am accustomed to playing a role—getting inside another person’s head. I imagined what Lucy would want to say to those people that looked at her, and all they saw was her differences. They didn’t see her, they saw the scars and what they perceived as defects. I believe she would say, “Those things aren’t me—Who I am is Lucy!” 

While many people may consider this a good book for a child with special needs—and it is—the real target audience for the book is people like the little girl in the park and her father. And to be honest, people like me.

Available on Amazon: I AM LUCY

“I’m writing a book…I’ve got the page numbers done.”

– quote by Steven Wright

It’s been a while since I gave you an update on what I have been up to lately. As some of you know, I have purposely taken a break from my touring and performing life, and have been venturing more into writing. I published a book of faith-based limericks – Get Me to the Church in Rhyme: Limericks about God, Faith, and the Church – and revised and re-released my book called Drama Workshop: Teaching Drama to Beginning Actors. I am currently writing a book about being a Christian artist, tentatively titled “Church Pews, Potlucks, and a Tank of Gas: A Survival Guide for the Independent Christian Artist”

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But one of the projects I am most excited to announce is that I have written a children’s book! The book is called “I Am Lucy,” and yes, it is about our beloved granddaughter, Lucy. The book will address her special needs as a child with Kabuki Syndrome.

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I am excited to be working with Canadian artist Chris Kielesinski as my illustrator. He just sent me a few early drafts of some of the artwork. He is really capturing her personality and essence. 


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In the meantime, while I am not currently touring and performing, Steve Wilent and Marcia Whitehead are still trodding the boards and would be happy to bring one of their inspirational stories to you!

 

 

What’s In A Name?

I was teaching a break-out session at a Worship Conference. My topic was about making a living as a Christian artist.

I asked the group: “Name for me some famous Christian bands, go ahead and just call them out”

The big question: Are you related to Jim?  The answer—no!

“Newsboys”

“Casting Crowns”

“Jars of Clay”

“Mercy Me”

“DC Talk”

“Third Day”

“Gaither Vocal Band”

“Switchfoot”

“U2”

All of these and many more were called out.

Then I asked: “How about some famous Christian singers?”

“Amy Grant”

“Michael W. Smith”

“Chris Tomlin”

“Toby Mac”

“Lacrae”

“Sandi Patty”

“Johnny Cash”

Again just a sampling of some of the many names that were mentioned. (Note: this discussion happened before Kanye West and Lauren Daigle would have made the list)

I try another category: “How about Christian Comedians?” It takes a few seconds but then I hear:

“Chondra Pierce”

“Tim Hawkins”

“That lady that sings that thing about what Mom’s say to the tune of the William Tell Overture.” (Anita Renfroe)

“I think Stephen Colbert is a Catholic.”

There were a few other names tossed out but the list was definitely shorter.

“Okay let’s try one more… how about famous Christian actors?”

The silence is deafening. Then someone says.

“Oh that actor who played Doogie Howser… what’s his name?”

“Neil Patrick Harris?”

“No, you’re thinking of the actor from Growing Pains…uh…Kirk Cameron.”

“Oh yeah… he’s in those Christian movies, Left Behind and stuff.”

“That’s it?” I asked. “One actor?”

“Oh wait there is that guy that tour’s around doing C.S Lewis and Screwtape Letters… uh… Don McLean.”

I correct him. “That would Max McLean. Don McLean is the singer who wrote Bye Bye Miss American Pie. Anyone else?

“Denzel Washington? I saw this YouTube video where he talked about praying…”

From the back of the room I hear, “Chuck Neighbors”

I smile… “I said famous actors… and you only said that because the name on the handout for this class says: Chuck Neighbors, Actor”

(It is interesting to note that some of the names—U2 (Bono), Johnny Cash, Stephen Colbert, and Denzel Washington—are celebrities that have identified themselves as Christian, but their art is not typically what most people think of when we think of Christian artists.)

So there you have it, in a nutshell. While there is plenty of name recognition for Christian musicians, there is not much when it comes to being a “Christian actor.” I have often referred to myself as “that Christian actor guy” because for most people, even those who have seen me perform, “that Christian actor guy” is a close as they will get to remembering my name. (Although I have lost count of the number of times I have been introduced as Jim Nabors…aka Gomer Pyle).

Pastor Appreciation, Indeed!

Pastor Kyle was lamenting his job

As his head was starting to throb.

He was squeezing a sponge,

Had a toilet to plunge.

“I was hired to preach, not to swab!”

from Get Me To The Church In Rhyme
by Chuck Neighbors

 

October is pastor appreciation month.

The punchline to numerous jokes I have heard over the years is “the pastor only works one hour a week.”

Having worked in the world of the church for over 45 years, I can tell you that nothing is further from the truth. If the average pew-sitter could job-shadow a pastor they would quickly realize that the one hour a week is easily multiplied by 60 or 80 for most of the pastors I know.

As with my job as an actor, there is so much more that goes with the job beyond what the audience/congregation sees. A typical pastor, in addition to being a preacher, is also a: teacher, lesson planner, sermon writer, counselor, hospital chaplain, event planner, and board member with too many meetings.

Those are duties that one might anticipate as a part of the job and could account for the typical hours on the job for most vocations. But for so many pastors, their job also overlaps into other areas, forcing them to be an: administrator, secretary, bookkeeper, musician, deliveryman, cook, janitor, groundskeeper, handyman and plumber.

They probably didn’t sign up for those jobs.

Add to that the people skills need to deal with the various personalities in the church. Pastors are often caught in the middle of church politics, and shoulder the blame for anything that a church member might not like. Many pastors are lonely and feel isolated, often having no one to talk to about their problems. Having close friends within the congregation can be difficult causing more problems by sparking jealousy and envy among the members.

And don’t forget that pastors are often spouses with kids, and have a life beyond the four walls of the church building.  Like a doctor on call, congregation members call at all hours with real emergencies as well as a petty complaint. Way too many pastors are bi-vocational, unable to make a living on the salary paid to them by the church and forced to have a second job to pay the bills.

It’s a hard and often thankless job.

So take a moment to appreciate your pastor. Notice all the work they do beyond what you hear from the pulpit. Send a card, buy them a gift, take the broom out of their hands.

Pray for them.

Thank God for them.

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