Pastor Appreciation, Indeed!

Pastor Kyle was lamenting his job

As his head was starting to throb.

He was squeezing a sponge,

Had a toilet to plunge.

“I was hired to preach, not to swab!”

from Get Me To The Church In Rhyme
by Chuck Neighbors

 

October is pastor appreciation month.

The punchline to numerous jokes I have heard over the years is “the pastor only works one hour a week.”

Having worked in the world of the church for over 45 years, I can tell you that nothing is further from the truth. If the average pew-sitter could job-shadow a pastor they would quickly realize that the one hour a week is easily multiplied by 60 or 80 for most of the pastors I know.

As with my job as an actor, there is so much more that goes with the job beyond what the audience/congregation sees. A typical pastor, in addition to being a preacher, is also a: teacher, lesson planner, sermon writer, counselor, hospital chaplain, event planner, and board member with too many meetings.

Those are duties that one might anticipate as a part of the job and could account for the typical hours on the job for most vocations. But for so many pastors, their job also overlaps into other areas, forcing them to be an: administrator, secretary, bookkeeper, musician, deliveryman, cook, janitor, groundskeeper, handyman and plumber.

They probably didn’t sign up for those jobs.

Add to that the people skills need to deal with the various personalities in the church. Pastors are often caught in the middle of church politics, and shoulder the blame for anything that a church member might not like. Many pastors are lonely and feel isolated, often having no one to talk to about their problems. Having close friends within the congregation can be difficult causing more problems by sparking jealousy and envy among the members.

And don’t forget that pastors are often spouses with kids, and have a life beyond the four walls of the church building.  Like a doctor on call, congregation members call at all hours with real emergencies as well as a petty complaint. Way too many pastors are bi-vocational, unable to make a living on the salary paid to them by the church and forced to have a second job to pay the bills.

It’s a hard and often thankless job.

So take a moment to appreciate your pastor. Notice all the work they do beyond what you hear from the pulpit. Send a card, buy them a gift, take the broom out of their hands.

Pray for them.

Thank God for them.

Donuts

So, I was at this church and they were having what they called a “Ministry Fair.” All of the different ministries of the church set up tables in the lobby. The idea was for you, the church member, to see all the possibilities and then sign up to be a part of a ministry of the church. There were all the usual suspects: women’s ministry, men’s ministry, youth and children and nursery, and various mission outreaches. But I knew which ministry I would want. It was the first thing that caught my eye when I walked into the church. Donuts. If God called me to this church and gave me a ministry here I am pretty sure it would be someplace near this little stand in the corner where they were brewing fresh coffee and serving up donuts. Now here is a church that is practicing for heaven!

Has it ever bothered you that for all the stances the church takes on living the Christian life, the one area that many seem to overlook is healthy living when it comes to diet? I mean the church may have a Celebrate Recovery ministry, and even a health and fitness ministry, I was at a church recently that had a Pastor of Sports. Yet on Sunday morning they serve up donuts, alongside a healthy dose of caffeine. I grew up in the era of the church potluck. Fried chicken and casseroles, and lots of cake and pie! As one church lady righteously defended, “but there are no calories, I followed the recipe exactly, calories were not on the list of ingredients.” The church potluck, how I miss it. It doesn’t seem to be a thing, like it was when I was younger. Maybe that is a good thing. With so many states now making cannabis legal, the potluck might need to be redefined.

But hey, I am not here to judge…I think I read somewhere that that is a sin.

But donuts! I walked by the donut booth and took a peek at the signup list. Looks like this ministry might be overbooked. I grabbed a maple bar and chatted with Scott who was overseeing the signups. Scott heads up this ministry and it turns out is in law enforcement. Why am I not surprised?

Man, this maple bar is especially good; suddenly I know why, it’s the bacon. Yes, this is no ordinary donut (I should have noticed the pink box when I approached the table). This is a Bacon Maple Bar. I am in Portland, Oregon after all and the donut I am eating is a Voodoo Donut. Voodoo Donuts is one of the things that put Portland on the map. I fly a lot and it seems on every flight someone is carrying that signature “pink box” full of donuts home with them.

I am pleased that I selected this maple bar. At least I can now say that I had a healthy breakfast. I have grains, I have protein. Maybe there is more to this ministry than I previously thought.

I wonder if anyone is bothered by a church knowingly serving up something named Voodoo. I mean I am all for various elements of the faith community learning to get along with each other, but embracing Voodoo is stretching it a bit. I wonder if there is an aspect to this I am not seeing. I suddenly envision people with little dolls representing the pastor, hiding in their pockets and purses. If the sermon gets too long and people are craving their donuts, the pins come out.

There may be more to the donut ministry than I ever realized before.

I’ll Take “Christianese” for $500, Alex

I am in a different church almost every weekend. Being in itinerant ministry for nearly 45 years I figure I have been in no less than 2500 different churches, participating in their worship services. I like to observe these services and imagine what a visitor, an outsider not familiar with church culture, might be experiencing. I like to try to view the service through their eyes.

On this Sunday, as I sat in the front pew waiting to take to the platform for my performance, I was treated to the litany of announcements coming from the pastor. There was the need for volunteers to help with the Children’s Ministry. The Hospitality Ministry was looking for someone to bring donuts to the service next Sunday. And the Parking Lot Ministry wanted to let us all know about the resurfacing of the parking lot happening next week, advising anyone coming to the Women’s Ministry luncheon on Saturday to park in the street.

So many ministries! When I was a kid growing up in the church, the word “ministry” was not thrown around so casually. If someone was in ministry, the assumption was that they were the pastor of a church or a missionary. The word “calling” was frequently used in connection to “ministry.” As in being called into the ministry. If you look up ministry in the dictionary you see this definition: “the office, duties, or work of a religious minister.” Clearly the word is used more in line with a vocation than with a simple act of service.

Today the word is used for almost any activity, service, group or project in the church. I am a little conflicted about the use of the word. I use it too, of course. I tell people I am in full-time ministry as a professional actor/storyteller. For me it is tied to the vocation and the calling that I have on my life. The main purpose of my work is to spread the Gospel.

The current use of the word seems to imply that anything you do as related to church life is a ministry. There is great emphasis in a number of churches on “finding your gift” and using that gift in service to the church. Acts of service can certainly be a ministry. Whatever your gift, talent, or ability, you can now have a ministry. I have no problem with that. But I wonder if using the word “ministry,” for many, is a way of letting ourselves off the hook. Does matching my abilities, talents and passions automatically make it a ministry?  If I like to play the drums and play in the worship band, is that a ministry?  If I like sports and play in the church softball league is that a ministry? If I pass the donut shop on my way to church and pick up a couple dozen donuts to take to the church coffee hour, is that my ministry? Perhaps the answers to these questions are more a matter of the heart of the individual doing the service.

On the other side of the coin, if we volunteer at a local school, bake a cake for a non-church related-fundraiser, or help the senior citizen next door with their yard work, is that a ministry? Because a lot of people do those things that don’t claim to be Christian or a part of a church.

I wonder what the church visitor is thinking. What does he or she think ministry means in the context of this worship service? Something to ponder as I take the stage to share my ministry. I look forward to being served by the donut ministry in the lobby after the service.

Merry Christmas 2016!

As I sit here writing this I am keeping one eye on the window, watching for the anticipated snowfall that is threatening to shutdown Salem later today. I am a little anxious because I am scheduled to perform tonight in Silverton, OR. There is a very good chance the performance will cancel.

As I reflect on that thought, I am realizing that there have not been many cancelations in my 42 years of ministry. A few caused by weather, a few caused by family/medical emergences. But all in all, it is a rare event. In fact I think I could probably count the cancelations on two hands. (I estimate that we have given about 5,000 performances during that time—that is about .2%!) I count that is one of God’s blessings on this ministry. And we’re still going strong and busy as ever!

  • Performances— Over 100 performances by our artists again this year.
  • Ministry growth— In addition to my performances, my associates, Steve Wilent and Marcia Whitehead have been keeping busy.  Just this month we are adding a new artist to our roster. Wes Whatley lives on the East Coast and will be great addition to our team.
  • Child Sponsorship— One of the biggest blessings of this ministry is that we also get to advocate on behalf of the poor through our partnership with Food for the Hungry. This year about 400 more sponsors were added and over the life of our ministry over 6,000 sponsors have been joined us in tacking poverty around the world.

We fully realize that it is the prayer and financial support of people like you that make this work possible.  We so appreciate your partnership in the work that we do.  As you look forward to 2017, we would be so very honored if you would help us keep the story going by giving a gift to Master’s Image Productions.  We would be especially grateful if you could support us on a regular basis with a monthly pledge (if you are already doing that, thank you!). You can also designate your gifts for the benefit of a specific artist if you like.

May God bless you and yours this Christmas and in 2017!

Chuck Neighbors

Donate online (one-time or monthly):

(You will be taken to a PayPal page to complete your contribution. To make your donation an automatic monthly donation be sure to check the “Recurring” payment box.)

Donate by mail:

Master’s Image Productions, P.O. Box 903, Salem, OR 97302

Master’s Image is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization. Donations are tax-deductible.

What a Pastor would Like Artists to Know

Guest Blog from a Pastor (name withheld)

(In my previous blog I shared 3 Things that Artists Want Pastors to Know. I offered for a pastor to write a counterpoint to the article and got a taker. These are great insights for artists to heed as we work together in ministry!)

Pastor praying for congregation

Please allow me to offer some balance to the discussion.

Performers might not realize that in some cases the congregation is not really interested in having anyone come to sing or act during the time that is normally used for congregational worship and preaching.
From my experience it seems that more and more the preacher has to sell the church on the idea of a live performance . . . (I have personally had great experiences with performance ministry. I have taken part in it and have supported it through the years, so I know how good it can be) . . . so when things don’t go well, it turns out to be a bad reflection on me, the preacher, who made the decision to have the performer come.

Just for information sake areas of criticism include:

1. The performer was late and has kept people waiting and even caused the service to be delayed.

2. The quality of the performance or ability to connect well with the audience/people during the performance and/or after the service is lacking.

3. The information given at the end that’s used to raise money for the sponsoring ministry appears to be more important to the performer than the spiritual message of the performance itself.

4. The performer exercises too much poetic license and even distorts scripture during the performance.

Even if/when these sort of things happen, the performer leaves with money both contractually promised and graciously given while the preacher is the one who receives the criticism and must endure comments like, “I hope we never do that again.”

Those of us who make the decision to have performers come to our churches are putting a lot on the line and are placing a very important part of our own ministry/reputation in the hands of someone who may or may not do the job as well as advertised or anticipated.

As I see it, Performance Ministry is heavily dependent (now and certainly even more so in the future) on the relationship the performers have with church ministers. I think it good advice for the performers to consider the minister’s position in all of this and to understand that we have a lot riding on what you do when you visit our congregations both in regards to members and those who might happen to visit that day.

Make sure that what you bring is equal or better than what we are risking by having you bring it.

3 Things Artists want Pastors to Know

brownmandmsI recently returned from a few days of retreat with some fellow artists who are ministry minded. Many, myself included, make their living serving in churches where they perform almost every weekend.  With a gathering like this, you are almost guaranteed to hear a statement resembling this:

You are not gonna believe this one church I performed at….”

If you are a pastor or church leader, you most likely will not want to be the leader of the “church” the artist is about to reveal. Oh sure, it might be a wonderful testimony about God’s grace and power, but more likely it will be a horror story about how the artist was treated by said church. We all have our stories, both good and bad. We have our stories about wonderful life-changing events where things went perfectly, and we have our stories about being bumped off, turned off, and ripped off at our performances. (And to be fair, I’m sure a gathering of church leaders could offer some equally amazing stories about artists that you have invited to your church—I have heard a few myself…oh my!)

As I reflected on the stories that were shared, I thought it might be good to come up with a list of a few things artists would like churches to consider in order to make a great event.

  • Be Prepared. Yes, the Boy Scouts’ Motto is good for all of life. I’m not talking about a greenroom and a candy dish with all the brown M&Ms removed (Just Goggle the most ridiculous artist riders). But if the artist has provided a list of “needs” for their time with you, take the time to go over the list and do what you can to accomodate. Sound needs, props and rehearsal time all need to be considered. I actually covered a lot on this topic in a previous blog here: A Stage That Is Hard to Fathom. The artist is a guest and needs to be hosted. By this, I mean there needs to be someone to greet and orient the artist to the appropriate people/places for set up, rehearsal, etc. If not the pastor, then another person to act as sort of a personal assistant. This person can also be a great help at the end of the event. The artist needs to be free to interact with people after the event. They will often have a resource table to staff in addition to visiting with the people that want some of their time afterwards. There is often that person who monopolizes the artist’s time with their own stories, and making it impossible for the artist to greet and speak to other people. This is where an assistant from the church can be a huge service, serving to rescue the artist from the monopolizing fan.
  • Honor the Agreement. It’s no surprise to me that many of the stories artists talk about fall under the catagory of the church not doing what was agreed upon. Most of the time we are talking about things that were agreed to in a written and signed document. At the top of the list is not honoring the financial arrangement and not giving the artist the time alotted. I had one pastor want to change the agreement moments before I took the stage and when I tried to challenge this he accusingly said, “I brought you here to serve!” — implying that satisfying our agreement meant I was not serving.  Another church had agreed to a freewill offering for my ministry and informed me they were just going to give me a gift; “but don’t worry it will be generous” (it was far less than what I have received in offerings from churches half their size). The offering, for many of us is our livelihood. A single worship service on a weekend will often translate into a week’s wages. With that in mind, please be careful how you explain the offering to your congregation. To say simply “defray the cost of having an artist come” is not accurate or fair. The audience will be thinking they are covering a tank of gas and a pizza rather than providing for the actual livelihood of the artist.
  • Trust the Art. If there is one thing that makes an artist bristle, it’s for someone to get up and try to tell the audience what the artist just said throught their art, be it music, acting, dance, painting, or spoken word. I understand that this can be a tough one for a pastor who is concerned, and rightly so, that the message be recieved. The artist’s gift is to communicate the message differently. If they are good at what they do, let the audience be free to absorb and receive the art…even though they may not all get the same message. It’s okay to add a few words of commentary and/or personal impact about the art. We just want you to resist the urge to preach a sermon on what they have just seen and heard.

I’m sure there are other things artists would like the church to know, and perhaps some of them will chime in through the comments. And we who are artists are not without sin. There are examples of us not being prepared, not honoring the agreement and not trusting the church as well! I am also certain a posting from the pastor’s perspective might be in order. Perhaps one of you would like to submit a guest blog to me on “3 Things a Pastor wants Artists to Know!”  Any takers?

UPDATE:

We have a response! Check out the next blog: What a Pastor would Like Artists to Know

New Promo Video!

I just finished this new promo video that gives an overview of all my productions. Please view, like, comment and share!

Pros and Cons to Working at Home

File this under “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”MessyDesk

Being “your own boss” and working at home does have its perks…and it also has its downside. I have seen the looks of envy from those who think working at home would be the best job in the world and I have seen the knowing looks from those who work at home who would beg to differ…including many of my pastor friends. I started this little list on my Facebook page and was quite surprised at the response:

Pro: Easy commute–you can sleep in longer and work in your pajamas.
Con: There is no Starbucks en-route to the office.

Pro: You can have a messy desk and no one else sees it.
Con: You have a messy desk.

Pro: Clients can meet you in your office at your convenience.
Con: You have a messy desk and work in your pajamas.

Pro: You are in charge…you don’t have to worry about someone else screwing things up.
Con: You are in charge…there is no one to blame when you screw things up.

Pro: No time clock. You can make your own hours, take time off whenever you like.
Con: No time clock. You can make your own hours, and work around the clock forgetting to take time off.

Pro: No more being asked to pick things up at the store on your way home from work.
Con: You have to make a special trip just to pick up something from the store.

Pro: You are your own boss.
Con: Sometimes the boss is a jerk.

So what can you add to the list?

The Muffin Man

muffin-man-bigOh, do you know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Oh, do you know the muffin man,
That lives on Drury Lane?

Yesterday I met The Muffin Man.

His name is George.

George is 75 years old. He describes himself as “a bald man with big ears.”

George is a greeter at his church. I know because I am greeted by George when I arrive early for my performance.

I have been “greeted” by many church greeters in a lot of different churches over the years, but rarely one as memorable is George.

George really loves people. Being a greeter is not just a duty that he does every Sunday. It is almost as if he lives for it. And the people he greets seem to need George.

Between hugs of the people entering the church, George engages me in conversation. He is intrigued with the pictures of kids I am placing on the table for sponsorship with World Vision.

“Oh, I am so glad you are doing that!” he says. “I sponsor kids too! Everybody needs to do that!”

George is not a wealthy man. However, he is one of the few people actually wearing a suit.

“This suit is 10 years old. I only wear it on Sunday. My momma would thump me on the nose and instill in me that you wear your best clothes when you go to church… so I always have.”

George then turns away for a moment to give a big bear hug to a person I am certain is homeless…or at least dresses the part. I know in an instant that while he is wearing a suit, he couldn’t care less what the others attending the church are wearing.

George turns back to me and says, “So tell me about yourself.” He isn’t just making conversation, he really wants to know. So I tell him a little about me. He listens.

He tells me a bit more about himself. He is a widower for 15 years now. He loves Jesus. He says, “I don’t have a lot of money, but I am rich.”

George doesn’t go to Sunday School like the rest of the people arriving early. He says he needs to be here to greet people when they arrive. “On the rare occasions that I do go, I go to the children’s Sunday School. I hand out gold coins.” He jingles the coins in his pocket and pulls out a $1 gold coin and gives it to me. This is not a wealthy church, and George delights in small acts of charity.

“They used to call me ‘The Muffin Man.’ I used to make dozens of muffins every week and give them away.  I had to stop; I couldn’t afford to do it anymore. I added it up and realized I had spent over $6,000 making muffins to give away to people.”

So now he gives away $1 gold coins. It’s more economical for him.

“Every day I get up and tell God, ‘I’m here for you. Use me. Put people in my path you want me to help.’ And He does.”

George then tells me a story from the other day when he went for a walk and engaged a stranger in conversation on a park bench. They shared stories and he ended up giving the person money that turned out to be the exact amount they needed to meet an immediate need. (He is quick to point out that he is not sharing this to boast, he just wants to show me how he believes God guides his path.) Oh did I mention—George is not a wealthy man?

People often ask me about how I get “fed” spiritually. I am out performing most weekends. I don’t get to attend church in the way that most church-going people do. But sometimes I get to experience a sermon in a unique way. Meeting George I am reminded of this quote from St. Francis of Assisi:

“Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words.”

George is my sermon this Sunday. As I leave the church I find myself humming a tune, not a worship tune but a nursery rhyme:

Oh, yes, I know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Oh, yes, I know the muffin man,
That lives on Drury Lane.

For some reason it feels right. It almost feels like I met Jesus this morning…The Muffin Man.

Do you know a “Muffin Man?” Do tell…

The Church – A Turtle in a Marathon

turtle-runningI contact a lot of pastors in my “day job,” managing my touring ministry. I often send out an inquiry to churches in a geographical area as I plan my itinerary.  Often these emails are ignored or end up in a spam box; most go unanswered or are returned with a reply “not at this time.” But never in all my years of doing this, do I recall a response quite like this one:

“I am retired as of June 1st, but the worst news is that the “box” that most elderly (denomination withheld) live in here in (state withheld) is about as progressive as a turtle in a marathon.  I would recommend that you concentrate on the larger towns, cities where there are concentrations of the few young people who remain in our denomination as we are chasing them away by the thousands, concentrating on coffee pots being removed from the foyer instead of removing pride and selfishness and spiritual arrogance; seeking humility and surrender at the foot of the cross.  The mistake of most in our faith is the need to stop bashing other faiths and understand that “being right” doesn’t make us righteous, only Jesus makes us righteous. Exterior righteousness is like the veneer of a collapsing house being white-washed.  So, blessings to you, Jesus only can changed the hearts, mine, yours, and turn us to Him.”

Name Withheld, Pastor Emeritus
(used by permission)

This has to be one of the shortest and yet more powerful sermons I have heard in a long time! I found the honesty and candor refreshing. I find myself saying both a hearty “AMEN” and at the same time taking a good look at my own heart.  “Being right doesn’t make us righteous, only Jesus makes us righteous.” What a powerful reminder!

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