Why, God?

Lucy_prayerI just finished talking with my son. He is grappling with some really tough questions. The sort of questions that even the best, most scholarly of theologians are unable able to satisfy. Why does God heal some people but not others? Why does an innocent child suffer? Why us? Why me? The sort of questions that can shake your faith.

My heart aches for him and his family.

It’s a mixed bag of the good news and bad news all at the same time. On July 25th I became a grandfather to Lucy Paige Neighbors. She was born 6 weeks early, weighed in at 4 lbs. and is the cutest baby in the world (no bias here!). Wonderful news!

The doctors knew before the birth of a potential heart defect and their suspicions proved correct. Lucy would require open heart surgery. It would be a very risky surgery, especially considering her size as a premature baby.

Say what you want about the evils of social media, but within a matter of hours literally hundreds of people were made aware of Lucy’s condition and prayers and words of encouragement poured in from around the world. Church prayer chains were activated, prayer chains that were from people we barely knew. People were praying for a miracle, that Lucy’s heart would be healed.

Surely with so many people praying, God would work a miracle, right?

Well, the miracle we were seeking didn’t happen before the surgery. Lucy had surgery and it went as well as could be expected. As I write this, she is stable. Her Mom and Dad are by her side, and really have not left her side since her birth.

Where is God in all this? That is the heart of the questions my son is asking. There are no easy answers. But I believe He is there and has been there all along. While this story is heart breaking, we choose to believe God has been with them through it all… even when we can’t answer the “why?”

Lucy is in one of the best hospitals with some of the best doctors in the world. She has responded better than expected in the recovery and we have reason to hope! And while this is a crisis of faith for her parents, it seems that their faith has been strengthened.  Maybe, just maybe God is at work here in ways we will never understand.

That may be a lame answer for some… but we do live in a fallen world and even the most exalted heroes of the faith have stories of trials and suffering.

Is that an answer that satisfies? Probably not in the midst of the suffering. But it may be the best we can do this side of heaven.

One of the other blessings has been that good friends have set up a GoFundMe account to help the family during this time. If you would like to join #teamlucy we would be delighted. Here is the link: Support #teamlucy

A Lesson from Mr. Bean – Is Your Church Visitor Friendly?

Okay, I admit it, I’m a big fan of Mr. Bean. One of the things that makes comedy work is when the audience identifies with the situation. One of the Mr. Bean episodes that I really identify with is Mr. Bean Goes To Church. Falling asleep, chewing gum, not knowing when to sit or stand… it is all a “been there, done that” moment for me. If you have never seen it, I am posting it here for your enjoyment.

In spite of all the antics that Mr. Bean brings to the scene, notice that for the most part he just wants to fit in. He is trying hard to follow the lead of those around him, working hard to look like he belongs.

In my previous blog I addressed issues related to hospitality that made me want to return to a church.  I want to go a step further–literally–and step inside the sanctuary. I want to talk about those things I have observed in a worship service that can make church visitor friendly. I realize that this is a bit more sensitive—I understand that different traditions approach worship in different ways—but there is still a lot of common ground that can be addressed.

1) Instructions Please! As a visitor I have noticed many churches assume that visitors may know more than they actually do.  It is confusing, as a visitor, when I am seated next to people who know when to stand, kneel, raise their hands, or shout “amen” with no prompting, but I don’t know. Just like Mr. Bean, when a song is being sung and half the congregation stands and the other half stays seated… I find I am trying to figure out what is the correct protocol.  As a seasoned church visitor, I get it… but to others who don’t have the same background I do, it can be confusing.  A visitor wants to fit in and indeed will feel extra nervous when they are uncertain what to do next.   A brief word of instruction from the worship leader can help to put us at ease.

This is especially important when it comes to communion. Am I  invited to participate if I am not a member of your church? Is it passed to me or do I go to the altar? Do I hold the wafer/cracker to partake as a group or do I eat it immediately? Some simple instructions would alleviate the stress.

2) Prayer Monitor! Prayer is important and hearing you mention pray requests and praying for those people in your church that need prayer is a good thing! However, I have been to a few churches where, based on prayer requests, I felt everybody in the congregation was either sick or dying. When the prayers are all bad news and there is nothing mentioned about good news, or something to praise God for, it can be depressing. This is touchy, I know…but you might want to monitor the requests and strike a balance between good news and bad news. Hearing how God is working positively in a situation, will make me want to return. Hearing the hospital roll call… not so much.

3) Money talk! Another touchy one.  And we all hear the criticisms out there that the “church is only interested in my money.”  I know that is not true.  I have seen the offering presented positively as a part of worship.  And then, just like the “bad news prayer requests,” I have heard offering appeals that make me want to run for the door. Fund raisers know that people respond better to good news than bad.  If all I hear regarding money is how far you are behind in your budget and how much we have to raise to repair the roof, I will probably come away with the dreaded impression that you really are only interested in my money. I have always appreciated the churches that tell visitors to let the offering plate pass them by, that this offering is for our “members only”!

There are other things we could explore, but I am not interested in getting into the “worship wars” over music style and debating the pros and cons of expository preaching. I am interested in seeing the church reach people who need to be connected to the body of Christ. Helping visitors feel at ease in the sanctuary is a good first step!

Do you have any tips or advice to help visitors feel more welcome in church?

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